I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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