Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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