Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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