found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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