how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
