I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
