i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
