Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
