only if we run a train.
done.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
