I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
