No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
