He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
