If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize