So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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