I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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