Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
