I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
