She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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