The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
