So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
