I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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