Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize