is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
