weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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