She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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