Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just googled if crying burns calories
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
