She's JV to your varsity
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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