just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Hippo gnu deer
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
