You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
