you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
