she looked like the bat from fern gully.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
