Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
