My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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