i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
