I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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