I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
