I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
