she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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