I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
