Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
