Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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