the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize