the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
