Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
