I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
