Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
