she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
only you would photoshop your dick
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
