No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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