It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
