On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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