My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize