My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
