You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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