You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
