Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just gift wrapped bread.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
