Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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