If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
porn star boner night. come get it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Send help, water and tortillas.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
