Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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