Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
