I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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