Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
