his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize