oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize