i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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