no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
