I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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