YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
