I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
