lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
sarcasm needs its own font
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
