what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
ok first of all what the fuck
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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